I feel trivial. I used to consider myself a specialist in my field. I used to believe that what I did had an impact.

Today I spent an hour at work cutting paper and glueing the work of children onto it. Work that will perhaps adorn a wall for the next six weeks before being discarded, left at the bottom of a school bag or otherwise forgotten.

I have been relegated to the most basic of tasks, and I question my value as well as my purpose. This new job is not a forever job I know. Yet the loss of my job at the end of March was a loss not just of a vocation, but of my own identity.

So many potential decisions. So many possibilities, stalling to choose for fear that the choice I make is wrong. How can I choose what is right for me, if I cannot say with any certainty who I am?

2 thoughts on “Purpose

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  1. It’s funny, if you’d have asked me on this day, I would have told you this was the worst day of my new job. In hindsight, it was not the worst day, but the moment where I began to change my thinking on it and began to consider it my job.
    The artwork is still lying on a bench somewhere at the back of a classroom, but I can once again see past the trivial and enjoy the work when I am doing it.

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