Today alone at least three separate people have told me the benefits of going outside, even just for twenty minutes a day. I wish I could. I truly wish I could. I miss the wind which whips over my ears, making my hearing aids whistle so much that I turn them off and walk along with the world around me muted and muffled. I miss the smells of fresh air, and coffee spilling from the doorways of coffee shops. I miss the sounds of the city and the countryside alike, the bustle of humans and animals as much a part of the soundtrack of life. I miss looking at new things as I pass by places I’ve seen a thousand times before, yet they are never quite the same. I miss seeing nature, flowers growing, trees in bloom, then casting their annually grown garments to the ground.
There is so much I miss about being outside. Removing myself from situations in which I feel trapped and gaining clarity while doing little more than walking without purpose.
Soon my family and I will arrive at an anniversary that requires no celebration. One year in our home, one year without any reprieve or respite beyond being blue-lighted twice to the nearest hospital, before being hastily discharged and sent back home to deal with the aftermath of increased care needs and ongoing sickness. Hospital appointments aside we have been inside now for so long that the thought of going outside has begun to scare me more than a little.
I have stopped trying to explain to people that we are shielding, that we cannot go outside, that whether we want to be or not, we are at home, hoping and praying for a day where we can once again go outside. Without fear.
Original Picture Taken: Stirlingshire, Scotland (November 2008) ©DSCoremans
Happy Writing. Stay Safe. Stay Distracted.