When life becomes difficult, we as humans have an amazing ability to put our heads down and push forwards, regardless of how we feel. When the difficulties are short lived, we come out of the other side and brush ourselves off. Knowing that we have done well to make it to our destination.
Sometimes the difficulty takes longer to overcome. It’s at these times, that we can become so overwhelmed, that we shutdown. We can ourselves into an emotional hibernation, leaving us anaesthetised against any potential pain.
I’m not sure at what point I shut down. I’m not sure at what point I stopped trying. But recently I woke up, and was shocked to see how far I’d come.
You see once you allow yourself to wake up, it becomes almost impossible to go back to sleep.
Like a sleepwalker woken unexpectedly, you find yourself somewhere you don’t remember going. Only to be told later, that it was you who brought you to where you are. If you have been asleep for a long time, you realise there are parts of your own life that you have to go back and learn again.
Often, one of the first things to change are the people around you. If you’re lucky, you’ll have people around you still, people you have been able to rely on to help you get through. People who nudged you in the right direction, before your eyes were truly open. The other people in your life, might now be where you expect them to be, but can sometimes still be found. Most will welcome you back into their folds, and pick up where you left off.
Sometimes though, we lose people along the way. It hurts knowing that the people you have loved and may still hold a place for in your heart, no longer feel that they can be a part of your journey. This can be a hard thing to come to terms with, especially when you first wake up, as you can’t always see yourself what it is that has changed. If you find yourself in this circumstance the most likely thing to have changed is you.
Before you can get to know the people in your life again, you have to get to know yourself. Sleeping for a long time, can change you without you ever realising it. The challenges you face, are the nightmares which haunt you, the moments of pleasure that interlude the times before waking are the dreams that remain a part of you. That kept you going even when the world was at it’s most unforgiving. You have to reflect on all of these things, making them a part of you. Once you can learn to do this, you can learn once more who you are.
These experiences may change you. They may make you feel differently about the things you once loved, but they also make you who you are. Accepting that, is the key to accepting yourself. If you need to change in order to be who you are, then embrace the changes you need to make and walk with your head held high. Above all, once you are ready to be that person, love them. Love the person you were, because they got you to where you are now. Love the person you have become, because they have overcome all obstacles to be where they are now.
And when you approach your next obstacle, take a deep breath, and move through it. Then love who you are when you come out the other side, because with each obstacle you overcome, you evolve in to a whole new version of yourself.